Announcer: Get ready for an epic Season 9! This season includes things, explosions, and excitement! Meet all new retarded characters!
Frankie: SOMEBODY KILL ME
Navi: Hey! Listen!
Announcer: See new things like a sorceress who can mind-control others!
Mario: I. Do. Not. Like. Spaghetti.
SMG4: HE'S BRAINWASHED, DEAR GOD!
Announcer: A death battle to become more popular!
Bowser: I'm spying on you, Ma- OW! WHO SHOT AN ARROW AT MY BUTT!
Announcer: And cute anime girls in sparkly leotards!
Mario: You see those girls? How anime they are? We have to have them at all costs.
Announcer: But the Big Bang of the series is...which one of these retards is going? To? Die?
Announcer: Find out in Super Mario 64 Bloopers: Season 9!
(the camera starts panning over to a boy in a hoodie)
Announcer: Wait. Who are you? You aren't supposed to be here.
(the camera gets closer to his hood)
Announcer: I'm serious, we'll have to call your parents.
(the boy slowly turns around, the top half of his face obscured by the shadows of his hood)
Announcer: You're being scary, stop it.
(then, underneath the shadows, two glowing, angry orange eyes appeared)
Announcer: Oh dear god...run.
(the screen fades to black as the words "Super Mario 64 Bloopers: Season 9" appear)